Monday, December 8, 2008

Ask Liz about the new addition

SIGH. Some of us never learn...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Still pissed about the game

Ok, so I am still extremely bitter about the BYU/U game. It was only the biggest game ever in the history of the rivalry, and Max Hall threw it away, literally. He is supposed to be the strength of the team and he totally gave the game away. This is in the top 2 for worst losses for teams I cheer for. The other is the Raiders losing the Super Bowl a few years ago in similar fashion. Both make me want to vomit and break stuff. Anyway, in honor of this total piss-off, I submit this Ute Catalog that I created after last year's game. I did some updating, but mostly it is the original.

University of Utah
Class Catalog

Welcome students. All of you can stop whining about not getting into BYU. This is a fine institution of higher learning, and we have a great medical school. Hey, I said STOP WHINING. Get over it, you’re here now. Make the most of it. As incoming freshmen, you have a ready-made schedule, courtesy of the counseling staff. It will help you become true Utes. Good luck in your quest to find out who you are and what you lay down, I mean, what you stand for. You will find a brief class description and some former students’ commentary blended together to help pump you up. Again, welcome and good luck.

Social Studies 312: Advanced Poor Sportsmanship- Don’t be afraid of this being an upper level (lower level according to good sports) class. This is required of all freshmen. Your prerequisite is simply being a Ute fan. There is no time for introductory or second year courses in one of the most important Ute traditions. No one teaches poor sportsmanship like the U of U. Utes lose badly, but often win worse. Trash-talking is actually worse after a loss, but then many things don’t make sense up here on the hill. Refusing to lose is a good thing; refusing to acknowledge when you have already lost is not. In this class you will learn how to jump ship, get off the bandwagon, and then do a complete about face and proclaim your team the dominant force in the conference. You will learn the proper techniques for whining about the coach, calling for his removal, his assistants removal, and how to completely deify him after a win or two. You will learn how to make ridiculous predictions based on shaky research, and how to boast about the upcoming conference title (even in those years you don’t have a realistic chance of winning it). You will learn how to blame the referees for everything. It doesn’t matter than the refs aren’t the ones dropping coverage on last ditch, need-a-miracle plays that shouldn’t have a prayer of succeeding. It also doesn’t matter that they aren’t the ones throwing interceptions in the red zone, not making a tackle on an 11 yard touchdown run, and not backing up their trash talk from the preceding week. We can blame everything on them. You will learn to make other lame excuses such as saying the other team got lucky (when they dominated every facet of the game), we had injuries (even though everyone has them), and totally discount that we were lucky to be in the game at all.

Sociology 101: Identifying the Father/Orientation and Survival Tips- This class is a split class. If you are female you will take the Identifying the Father section. This class will help you learn important information on DNA testing, memory and recall, and safe partying so you can avoid making this mistake again and again. This class will also teach preventive measures, such as the buddy system, sipping instead of gulping, how to seem not so easy, and a few key self-defense moves. For the males, you will learn the quickest routes to class, so you aren’t more than 10 minutes late, how to cheat, I mean, study properly for tests, and places you can take a nap or ditch the evidence. You will learn valuable pick up lines, and get maps of the local hot spots. Both men and women will learn information about the Greek societies so they can make educated decisions on which fraternity/sorority to join, thus ensuring many painful mornings nursing your hangover.

English 117: Profanity and Hate Speech- This is an honors course, but you all qualify. This is similar to your social studies class, but is more about what you can say, write and otherwise communicate in somewhat proper English. Most freshmen fail the English part, but excel at the spewing hateful blather part. This is where you learn the art of using words to show what an obnoxious fan you can be. This is the class that teaches you to call those hated BYU fans the worst fans in the world, but secretly admit no one is worse than us. This is where we call everyone else classless, but learn things like running up the score, giving no credit where credit is due, and name calling. You will learn the meanings of the words and how to use them, but the fun part of this class is twisting them for your own purposes. The profanity section is excellent. You will learn new and exciting ways to string together various profanity words. You will learn how to teach that little Zoobie fan a thing or two about the F-word. You will learn how to coherently swear even when drunk or worse. It gets even better when we get into the anti-Mormon section.
The U realizes that a huge percentage of its students are Mormon, but this doesn’t get in the way of this nationally protected form of hate. Drunken Utes have long profaned and persecuted Mormons from the school down South, while their Mormon comrades in red have turned a deaf ear. This section will teach you how to either do the taunting or be duplicitous in your faith. You will learn how to brag about many apostles attending the U while at the same time tolerating and maybe even encouraging hate-mongering directed at the fans in blue. Long held favorites are examined such as “F- you, BYU” and dumping beer on Zoobie cheerleaders. You will also learn the proper use of statements like “you are exactly why everyone hates BYU,” while subtly or not so subtly showing why everyone is hating the U more and more. We will show you how to make stupid comments by fellow Utes sound like Pulitzer prize winning essays. You will also learn how to call BYU fans “scared Zoobs” because they talk about the upcoming U/Y game a few weeks early, while knowing full well that Utes have been talking about it for months. Learn the true meaning of hypocrisy in this class.

Chemistry 119- This is a class of mixtures. You will learn the best ways to mix all your favorite alcoholic beverages with anything you want. You will learn to mix in caffeine, unlike those goody-goodies down South, and any other stimulant you desire. Throw in a section on horticulture and this class will have you smiling and munching the day away. So that co-ed isn’t interested in you? This class will help in more ways than you can imagine. Undetectable and delicious to the taste are the themes of the first semester. Be a star at any frat party. Wow your friends with your knowledge of drink ratios. You can tell them what will get them plowed the fastest, the hardest, and the longest. Whoa, that sounds spicy, doesn’t it? And you thought high school parties were fun. With this class, you won’t even need to leave campus. Taste testing gives you a chance to grade yourself. Test your new “chemistry” with the opposite sex. Don’t worry about being underage. The prof will buy for everyone (he’s dating the undergrad assistant, even though she’s his daughter’s roommate! Shhh don’t say anything, Oh my hell, I’m sloshed). You won’t remember much of this class, but it will probably be the most fun class you ever take.

Utah Mathematics and Logic- You get credit for math and philosophy in this whopper. It is long, six hours a week, but you will make peoples’ heads spin with the equations you learn. Fuzzy math is the name of the game. You will learn to take any number and skew it to your benefit. You will learn to take the numerical results to make uneducated philosophical statements. This class will blow your mind. You can take a stat such as BYU vs. Utah in the current and last decade, 1990s BYU 5 Utah 5, 2000s BYU 4 Utah 4, and skew it to show total Utah domination. Here’s how. Don’t take the full 18 games played. First, you can go back just 6 years and say Utah has won 4 out of 6. Or you can go back to 1993 and say Utah has won 9 of 15. Especially use the total games played because we will have an edge in that stat for years to come because of true domination in the 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s. You should only be able to brag about stuff that happened while you were alive, but come on, WE ARE UTES. Don’t listen to the argument that since 1950, even with total Ute domination in the 50s and 60s, BYU leads 29-28-1. Especially don’t pay attention to any “since Lavell took over” talk. That blows all our equations. Being on the short end of 25-12 is not good. So we teach you how to skew it in our favor. Thanks to the 21 victories against 1 loss and 3 ties prior to 1950, we will always have the overall numbers to fall back on. At least, it will be decades before we don’t. We teach you how to use the numbers to show that WE OWN the Zoobs in their own stadium, 6 out of the last 9. How awesome is that? Sorry for the Zoobie term. Just gloss over the total reversal in our own stadium over the last 9 games. Shh, most Zoobs don’t realize they have dominated our stadium exactly the same. We can always be louder and more obnoxious than they can and scare them with our fuzzy math. The truth means nothing to us. You will also learn the ultimate equation. How to ensure a Ute victory based on scores against common opponents. This is where the class gets so tricky, but very rewarding. For the 2007 season you will be able to take a BYU victory over New Mexico by 8 points and show that Utah will beat BYU by 10 because Utah beat New Mexico by 18. See how it works? Incredible. Try another one, BYU beat CSU by a measly 16 and allowed them to score 16. Pathetic. We beat CSU by 24, and they only scored 3 against us. We should therefore beat BYU by 13. See how it works? I don’t either, but it does. They beat Wyoming by 25, we beat them by 50. We’ll win by 30 against the Cougs. Here is the best part. They lost to UCLA by 10. We beat UCLA by 38. That is huge. We will beat BYU by 45. What? We lost to Air Force and got shut out by UNLV, and BYU handily beat both teams? That does not compute, so don’t worry about it. We have won our last 6 bowl games. Don’t worry that we have 12 total bowls to BYU’s 25. Don’t worry that we have been ranked 4 times to BYU’s 14. Just go back to winning 4 out of the last 6. 9 out of the last 15. SKEW IT, SKEW IT, SKEW IT!

UPDATED NOTE FOR 2008-2009: YES, WE BEAT BYU THIS YEAR, SO ALL OUR FUZZY MATH ACTUALLY WORKED. ADD A WIN TO THE UTE TOTALS AND A LOSS TO BYU’S TOTALS. WE ARE OFFERING THE FULL CLASS THIS YEAR. IT STARTS IMMEDIATELY, EVEN THOUGH THE SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVER. FREE CLASS CREDIT IS GIVEN IF YOU CAN WRITE A 500 WORD ESSAY ON WHY OUR 2004 TEAM IS THE GREATEST COLLEGE FOOTBALL TEAM OF ALL TIME. USE YOUR FUZZY MATH SKILLS TO PROVE YOUR ARGUMENTS. HERE IS AN EXAMPLE: We all know the drill. Any time you are talking to a Zoobie, be sure to point out how wonderful our 2004 team was and state your claim that we would have beaten any team in the country that year. Just point out that the Utes beat FOUR BCS teams that year. Leave out the records of those four teams. Don’t worry about it that Texas A&M was only 7-5 that year, Arizona was 3-8, North Carolina was 6-6, and Pittsburgh was 8-4 and probably the most undeserving BCS bowl team ever. Never mind that A&M was 4th in the Big 12 South, Arizona was 9th in the Pac-10, and that North Carolina was only 5th in the ACC. And Pitt, they didn’t even have the best overall record in the Big East, they made it in because they won the tiebreaker in the conference. Not very impressive teams, but still they got beat by the mighty Utes. Just state the claim that your Utes could have beaten #1 USC (not a chance), #2 Auburn (totally unlikely), and #3 Oklahoma (no way). It’s also probable that #5, or 4 depending on the poll, Texas that would have fallen to the Runnin’ Utes(in your dreams). Make the claim because the best part about saying that the Utes would have beaten anyone in the country that year is that there is no way to prove you wrong. The games aren’t going to be played, so hypothetically the Utes could win. Anything can happen hypothetically. Oh, and don’t worry that not a single team the mighty Utes beat in 2004 finished ranked in both the USA Today and AP polls. Pittsburgh finished a measly 25 in the AP. Continue to make the bold claim. It’s ridiculous, I know, but hey it’s all we got. Be sure and point out how Utah is more nationally recognized than the boys down south because we had 2004 and the current campaign in 2008. Just forget that the Zoobs have been nationally ranked 3 times as many times as the Utes. Remember, we can skew anything. Especially this year, since we have scoreboard. Don’t worry about the National Championship in 1984 and the top 5 finish in 1996 for the Zoobs. The Utes have 2004 and a possible (but highly unlikely) top 10 finish this year. Well, even if we lose our BCS bowl this year (which will definitely happen) we might still end up in the top 10. Remember how we whined out loud about how we wished we could play a real team in 2004 to prove ourselves? Remember how inside our alcohol-clouded minds we secretly were grateful we didn’t have to get humiliated by USC or Oklahoma? Anyway, this is the 5th year the Utes will finish ranked in the top 25. We must be the most dominant program ever according to Ute calculations.

ALABAMA by 10+

Friday, October 31, 2008

Already making excuses

Now that it looks like Obama is going to win, he is actually waking up to all the BS he has been spouting. So, he is already making excuses:

He is also acting so very tolerant (you know those Dems, they think they are so tolerant):

Give me a break. How can anyone support this fraud??? Scary. I usually am not too worried about who ends up in the Oval Office because of the checks and balances. But, I have news for you: There are about to be no checks and balances. The Dems are predicted to win a few more seats in the Senate, which would give them 60 or so, enabling them to quash any Republican attempts at filibuster. They would have an enormous advantage in both the Senate and House of Representatives. The leftists could make all kinds of socialist (communist) laws, abortion laws, anti-gun ownership laws, gay marriage laws and anything else they feel like passing. Plus there are likely to be 2 vacancies in the Supreme Court that the next president gets to fill. Obama could shift the court to the left. All 3 branches of government dominated by leftists is not a good thing.
That tax plan that Oblaba is rambling on about is nothing more than unadulterated bullshit. He started at anyone under $300,000 will get a tax cut, then it was $250,000, then $200,000 and now Biden has said $150,000. It has been slashed in half and he hasn't even won yet. Plus, his plan is only for a cut in income tax. He supports all the other taxes you pay, but don't necessarily think about. Plus his plan to jack up taxes on rich people and corporations is only going to hurt us little people. Rich people don't get rich (other than actors) by being stupid. They will find ways around this. Corporations will raise prices and operating costs to pay for this. You know who pays for it then? Us.
All the programs he spouts off about will cost us. He's a total liar. If you call him or Biden on any of it, they ban you. Crybabies. I freakin' hate them more every time I think about any of it. NEVER trust a rich guy who is saying he is going to raise taxes on the rich. HE IS RICH. Do you honestly think he is happy to pay more taxes himself? Come on. All those acting buffoons who make their idiotic commercials for him either are too stupid to realize that they are rich and will have to pay more taxes or they have great accountants who will disperse their money and save them from paying.
As for the war, everyone thinks he is just going to end it and everyone comes home happy. He has said repeatedly that he wants to ratchet up the war in Afganistan and go into Pakistan. Ok, um, Pakistan ok with that? They have nukes. If he just pulls out of Iraq it all goes to hell. Whether going in was right or wrong, we can't just leave and we can't give a date to leave. In fact if we keep a permanent base or bases there, like Germany, Japan, Korea, etc. that isn't a bad thing, in my opinion. Giving a date to leave by is giving the insurgents and terrorists a date to plan on invading.
If you think health care should be government run, think about all the other stuff government has run. Not a great success. Ask people in Sweden what they think of socialized health care. They don't like it, unless they are rich and can pull some strings.
Anyway, it matters this time. I already voted. It was more of an against Obama vote rather than a for McCain vote. I'm not a big fan of him either. He should have been able to swat Obama away with all the crap Obama is associated with and his silly ideas. But, he didn't. Hillary couldn't either. Maybe McCain and Hillary can sit together with their heads spinning, wondering what the hell went wrong, and hold hands.

Monday, October 27, 2008

This cartoon is hard to read, but it has the guy saying, "Look how much candy you have. I'm going to take half and give it to the kids too lazy to go trick or treating for themselves!" Then the kids says, "Oh, crap, a democrat."

"I did a test of share the wealth…..
Yesterday on my way to lunch I passed a homeless guy with a sign that read “Vote Obama, I need the money.” I laughed.
Once in the restaurant my server had on a “Obama 08″ tie, again I laughed as he had given away his political preference–just imagine the coincidence.
When the bill came I decided not to tip the server and explained to him that I was exploring the Obama redistribution of wealth concept. He stood there in disbelief while I told him that I was going to redistribute his tip to someone who I deemed more in need–the homeless guy outside. The server angrily stormed from my sight.
I went outside, gave the homeless guy $10 and told him to thank the server inside as I’ve decided he could use the money more. The homeless guy was grateful.
At the end of my rather unscientific redistribution experiment I realized the homeless guy was grateful for the money he did not earn, but the waiter was pretty angry that I gave away the money he did earn even though the actual recipient deserved the money more.
I guess redistribution of wealth is an easier thing to swallow in concept than in practical application.
If you’re a Democrat, vote your heart. If you’re a thinking person…well, you know. Vote for the lesser of the two evils" Comment by Kurt Johnson

I don't know who Kurt Johnson is, but I saw this in the comments of an article I was reading.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Think about it...

If Obama were to apply to the CIA, FBI, Secret Service, or NSA he would be laughed out of the building. Of course, he would also be under investigation for his multitude of shady and downright horrible associations with known domestic terrorists, blatant racists, and criminals. And this dude is applying for the job of president. Of course the Constitution only requires 3 things from a prospective president: 1. Born in the USA (or U.S. territory) 2. 35 years old 3. Lived in the USA for 14 years. Pretty easy requirements for what is possibly the most important job in the USA. Maybe we should look into that...

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Type this into your internet address bar. This is incredible. How stupid are these people? Is it not just as racist to vote for a person because he is black as it is to vote for a person because he is white? I love how you cannot say anything negative about NObama or you are racist. Actually, I'm not a racist, but I am very prejudist against stupidity, dishonesty and bullshit(although I am a really good BSer). Anyway, check out this link:

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who's hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our president.The old rancher said, 'Well, ya know, Obama is a 'Post Turtle''.Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.The old rancher said, 'When your driving down a country road on you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a 'post turtle'.The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain. 'You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, and he doesn't know what to do while he's up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with'.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Monday, September 8, 2008


So, I've

been asked what I think of Palin...Not bad. Not bad at all. She's got my vote. Va-va Voom. Actually, I don't know much about her, but I have heard some good and some not so good. I do think it is stupid to be ripping on her because her unwed daughter is pregnant. What does that have to do with anything? Perhaps it gives her some extra insight. I guess if the Obamites are going to cry racism whenever he is criticized, she can cry sexism whenever she is. She seems like a much better choice than Biden, who has a long track record of stupidity. Obama had the most liberal voting record his short time in the senate and Biden was 3rd. Yeah, lots of compromise from those two.

Anyway, unless I can get my own campaign as a write-in candidate going well, I will probably vote for McCain/Palin. Have you heard how openminded and fair Oprah is? She is an open Obama supporter, which is no surprise, but she won't even have Palin on her show. That's fair, Oprah. If Obama was smart, he would have picked Oprah as his running mate. Since she already owns half the country, it would have been a landslide.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Back again

At long last, I have returned. I pretty much took the summer off. You might think that this would be a good time to do plenty of blogging, but for me, I just didn't. I prefer to do my blogging during work(conference period, of course). I am teaching U.S. Government this semester, and will teach some Economics as well next semester. So, I have seniors. I am hoping to get to the point where I teach only government, which is a semester class, and then be done with them. As it is, I teach both, so I will still have a few kids all year. For some of these kids, it will be 3 years in a row that I have them in class. Too much in some cases. It is only the 5th day of school, so not much to report there, yet. I did manage to have a bunch of kids removed that I just couldn't stand to have again. The counselors are pretty helpful. Starting next year I won't know most of the kids, so it will be a fresh start. And if I could get rid of them at the semester break, that would be FANTASTIC.

Well, it looks like it is going to be Obama as president. It will be closer than anyone would have thought. I can't believe I am saying this, but Hillary would have been better. Yes, I believe she has an evil streak, but as for being president, she would do a better job. Obama will be a bust. Dude is nothing more than grandiose speeches, lovely rhetoric, and an empty suit. Good luck completely saving the world, buddy. What a fraud. He is one of, if not the most, liberal, left-wing senator in recent times. What does that mean? That means that he is not going to compromise. That means that he will work to implement all his lunatic leftist ideas. It doesn't take a whole lot of research to see what kind of record the guy has and it isn't at all laudable. Most liberal voting record, when he wasn't too much of a coward to vote at all. Ties to an ever-growing list of despicable people. Ties to organizations that are working hard to give total clearance to illegal immigrants(including just flat-out opening the borders with no restrictions), and other so-called welfare programs that give people excuses to do nothing while taking more and more money out of our pockets to pay for them. Two of these are the Gamaliel Foundation and ACORN. They sound so helpful and giving on the surface, but dig a little deeper. ACORN is constantly trying to raise the minimum wage. Sounds great, right? People should make more. Did it ever occur to you that by raising the minimum wage, you raise the prices of things. Businesses aren't just going to cut into their profits and happily pay more wages. They will pay more wages and charge you and I for it. Notice how the minimum wage has gone up in the last year or so? Notice how prices have gone up a lot in the last year or so? Coincidence? I think not. Also notice how that is also around the time Democrats took control of Congress?

So, look a little closer. Pretty words are nice to hear, but remember they all make nice speeches. Very few deliver. Carte blanche for immigrants? Yes, America is built on immigration. But, times are different, and there needs to be regulations and restrictions. Due process and such. These groups would have the borders opened completely and probably try to charge you and I for the gas needed to drive new immigrants around the country. Look at Obama's record on abortion. See his lame quote on the side also. As an adopted person, with adopted siblings and now two adopted children, I can in no way support a person who fights for abortion. If that was the only issue I had with him, that would be enough for me to never vote for him. To me that is a paramount issue of morality. It is not some side issue. It is wrong and anyone who supports it is wrong. There are very few issues that are clear-cut, right or wrong and that is one of them. I can barely concede the rape, incest, health exceptions to this. Whenever someone does have a baby that falls under one of these, doesn't that just weaken opposition to those exceptions as well?

I'm pissed, loyal readers. I'm pissed that the wool is falling over so many peoples' eyes. I'm pissed that I am going to have to pay more taxes. I'm pissed that more unborn babies are going to get sucked out and thrown in the trash. I'm pissed that our borders are going to be even more unsecured. I have no problem with immigration done the right and legal way. In fact I have no problem with many people who are here illegally because they truly are trying to make a living for their family. But, I have a problem with the costs. I have a problem with the criminals that sneak in on the same truck. Obviously, the immigration process needs to be restructured, revised, fixed, or whatever. But, there are millions who go through it the right way, and prove that it is possible. I applaud them.

I'm also pissed that we are not fully exploring all possible energy possibilities. If we know where the oil is, let's go get it. The technology is there to protect the environment AND get the resources. Let's explore the alternative energy sources and implement them too if they are feasible. Utah is actually leading the way with natural gas. I read an article the other day that described how many there are using natural gas to power their cars. It costs 87 cents a gallon. Wow, remember those days??? Right now it costs a lot to convert your vehicle or even to buy one that is ready, but given time we could get those affordable. Let's do all of these. Why is it that we can ONLY use wind, solar or corn, but no oil? Or only oil and nothing else? Why do the political parties, and Republicans are to blame too, each totally discount the other options? Try all energy options, including nuclear power.

I'm just pissed. And don't think it will get better with ObamaFrauda. He has shown ZERO inclination to compromise. I am no fan of McCain, but he at least compromises. Not always how I personally like, but he is a better choice than the empty suit. Yeah, he cheated on his wife 30 years ago or whenever it was, and that is terrible, but I guarantee you Obama has some skeletons in his closet. How about the fact that he attended an absolutely racist church for 20 years? Doesn't that bother anyone just a bit? Racism is NOT an exclusively white against black thing. There is plenty of racism coming the other direction, too.

I would say vote for a write-in candidate, but a vote for anyone other than McCain is basically a vote for Obama. I would vote for the Libertarian guy, but they support abortion too. I'll tell you this much, if some America-hating, raving lunatic like Michael Moore is supporting Obama, that is enough for me NOT to vote for him. If the Hollywood Pretenders-for-a-Living mostly support Obama, I don't. They spend their lives in Make Believe. Yeah, they're in touch. Right.
All right, I had a lot to get out. And more to come. Pardon me if it seems a little negative for awhile, like the next 4 years. I just prefer my country not to get screwed up.

One last rant. I am so sick of hearing about this lost war. What lost war? You mean the one where we killed hundreds of thousands of bad guys and lost less than five thousand good guys? Yes, every American life lost is tragic and I always feel awful when I read about another one, but in harsh terms of numbers, we won that one. How about the fact that we liberated 2 countries. Is there still work to be done in both? Of course. It is interesting that people think these countries can just suddenly turn into fully functioning democracies in one or two years. It took our country more than 12 years from the Declaration of Indepence to voting in George Washington as first president. And we had many foundations of democracy already in place. We expect them to completely change in less time than that coming from dictatorships under Saddam and the Taliban? Interesting. So exactly how was this war lost? Did we lose territory? No. Did someone invade our country? No. Could someone tell me how we lost? We lost prestige? Pretty sure there are always countries that hate America. Anyone travel abroad while Clinton, the Mighty Hero of the Democrats, was president? I did, and he was a laughingstock. He was a joke. The first thing anyone thought of about him was sex and Monica Lewinsky. How very prestigious. I think, just for fun, we should suspend all foreign aid for a year. Then these jokers might realize how much they do like us.

Unfortunately, I did not go to Judas Priest. Just couldn't get excited enough about it. Maybe next time.

Thursday, June 5, 2008


IRON MAIDEN WAS AWESOME! I went to Iron Maiden in concert with a buddy. Great show.

This band has been around for close to 30 years. You expect the music quality in a live show to perhaps not be as clear, crisp, or as refined as on the album. Certainly a note here and there might be missed or the singer might have a tough time. However they were amazing.

The music was flawless. Instrumentally, they sounded album quality. Bruce (singer) was close. He is one of the best metal singers of all time, which to some of you may not sound impressive, but he is truly a great singer. He didn't try to go for those notes of his youth. Instead, he changed it up just enough to stay true to the song, but not embarrass himself, and it still sounded great. He still has it. Sure, he didn't hold onto some notes as long, or go for some high ones like he used to, but he had amazing energy and totally did not disappoint. In fact, the whole band was impressive. The stage was cool, and the show just rocked.
Now I know what happened to all the stoners from junior high. They still dress the same, but the clothes don't fit as well. And in some cases, yikes is all I can say. Their long hair now has gray in it. They have added tatoos and/or weight. Some of the girls probably didn't look good in their outfits in 1984, let alone now. There were some kids, but easily half or more were 30+ years old. The guy next to me (by himself) offered me a joint about halfway through the first IM song. So I took a few hits. JUST KIDDING. I said no thanks. There were people in all directions having some Mary Jane, but I didn't get too many wiffs of it, and I didn't have smoke smell when I got home. The concert was outside and there was a slight breeze. My buddy was getting more smoke in his face than I was. Pays to be short sometimes. Everyone was having a good time. All things considered it was really fun. I drove fast to get ahead of the drunks.
Now I have the concert bug. Unfortunately, I don't have the concert money.

Don't Call it a Comeback

Last day of school for the students. YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! If these meatheads are our future, the future looks bleak indeed. Wow. My students took it to new levels of stupidity, immaturity, and disrespect. But, the school year is coming to a close and hopefully next year will be better. You would think that as they got older, they would get wiser. Think again. Unfortunately, I will have many of them again. I am moving up to Government and Economics next year. They are just semester classes, though, so it should be bearable. Now I have to work the counselors so I can avoid some of the more annoying students so I don't have them for a second, or in some cases, a third time. In many cases, these students are starting to think we are buddies because we have known each other for so long. A lot of times, they think I am not serious when I tell them to shut up, sit down, do your work, stop acting like 1st graders, don't do drugs, keep your nasty hands to yourself, put your @#*!&% cell phone away, etc. Anyway, I am glad summer is here. Maybe these kids will get a clue over the summer.

Friday, March 21, 2008


Well, I am going to IRON MAIDEN in May. I used to be headbanger back in the day (junior high), and I have always had a hankering to go to a heavy metal concert. I almost bought tickets to Motley Crue a couple years ago, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was a little disturbed with some of the expected goings on at their concerts. They are pretty wild, from what I hear. I couldn't pass up IM, however, because I figure this is it for me. It will be pathetic enough to be at this concert in my late 30s, so I can't wait for another concert. I really liked their music back in my youth, still rock out to them, and understand their concerts are great. What is really pathetic is the thought of these guys, who must be in their late 40s or even 50s, squeezing into tight pants and strutting around. I think it will be really cool. Rush is coming to town soon, but IM was a bigger part of my music collection. I would love to see Rush, too, but can only afford one concert at this time. I wish I still had my spikes. I'm going with a couple buddies, so it should be fun.

I told my mom I was going to IM and I think she had a bad flashback of 1984. She just rolled her eyes and didn't really comment. Anyone who knows my mom, knows that if she isn't commenting, she must really be baffled.

Thought I would brag up Liz. She has been exercising regularly, and eating heathier. It has definitely paid off as she is looking amazing. She has more energy and is quite a bit happier. I can't seem to keep my hands off her. Unfortunately, she has no problem keeping hers off me.

Tyler is a way cool kid. He talks in this "teenager" voice that is a crack-up. He will get all serious and act grown up and tell a story. It's pretty funny. He has started T-ball games now, and that is fun. He is getting big, which is so fun, but also bittersweet since you only have those times once.

What can I say about the Princess of the World? How cute is this kid? She is a total Daddy's girl which pretty much means she runs my life. She is very fun, very sweet and seems to win everyone over who meets her. She already has a bit of an attitude, a sense of humor and is the only other one, besides Liz, who likes the dog. She is not afraid of the mongrel at all. Tyler, on the hand, won't even go from the back door to the trampoline without someone holding the crazy mutt.

Is it any wonder that the Dems use a jackass as their mascot?

The scariest woman on planet Earth. No make that the scariest woman in the entire universe.

Give me a break. This guy is a fraud. An empty suit. Pretty words, but no substance.

Click this to enlarge it and you can read it.

My pick to win it all.

My number two choice to win it all.

Friday, February 22, 2008


Usually I leave the family stuff to Liz, but I wanted to talk a little about Tyler's first T-ball practice. I couldn't talk him into wearing sweats, so he was in jeans. He didn't run very fast because of the that fact. Usually he is pretty quick, especially when I am chasing him to get him to do something helpful. There were a few other kids in jeans, so he wasn't the only one, but I think he will wear sweats next time. I have slacked off in playing catch with him, so I blame myself that he wasn't the best one on the team. He wasn't the worst either. He loved the hitting. I need to work with him on his catching and fielding. His throwing has always been his strong point. Ask a few kids who have taken a HotWheel to the head if the kid has an arm. One kid bled all over our couch thanks to a shot to the head from Tyler throwing a car at him. Luckily he doesn't do that anymore. Anyway, he can throw well and with some mechanics will probably be one of the best on the team in that department. The best part was the huge grin he had on his face most of the practice. He just dug it. I will probably be an assistant coach. His dimple was as deep as ever while he was going through the hitting. His one complaint other than that he was cold, was that there is a girl on the team. He did say he would like Brooke on the team, but not Audry. He'll get used to it. She wasn't the worst by far. I can't believe he is in T-ball now. Where did those 5 years go? He is a fun kid.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I'm announcing my candidacy for president

As I see it, there are no good choices to vote for come November. Hillary would be a disaster. Obama may seem young and fresh, but he is even more liberal than Hillary. We would have a nation where gay marriage is rampant, unborn babies are murdered relentlessly, and convicted murderers get to stay alive, possibly getting out on parole, and hanging out with the Susan Sarandons of the world. Hillary is one of the most narcissistic people of all time, power-mad, and conniving. Obama has little experience and has shown absolutely no signs of being able to compromise at all with conservatives. No thanks, I prefer my taxes to be lower for one thing. Not to mention the fact that he supports a blatant racist in his preacher. McCain has shown signs of doing what's right, but has also shown signs of lunacy. He may be the best choice remaining, but that isn't saying much. Huckabee, well, I don't see myself ever voting for someone who was a keynote speaker at an anti-Mormon rally. He's a scumbag.

So here is my presidential platform.

War in Iraq(Afganistan)-First of all, quit whining about whether or not we should have gone in there to begin with. The fact is that we are there and it is time to win this war. The Democratic controlled congress wants you to believe we are losing. We're not. They want you to believe the best course is to pull out all our troops tomorrow. It's not. We have seen success with the recent surge. The answer is not less or no troops. You can't go in and eradicate a government and then get out before you help fix things. We kept troops in Germany and Japan after WWII and it seems to me like it worked out pretty well for both. Obviously, those are different cases, but the fact remains we have to help get things going. I would suggest even more troops to completely root out and destroy the insurgents. Put the Iraqis through intense training, and then steadily pull out troops until we have a force similar to what we have in South Korea guarding one of the most dangerous borders in the world. It would be a rotation base with overlapping troops so that there are always troops there to train the new arrivals. We still have bases in Japan, Germany and other countries. We would have bases in Iraq as well, just to be sure. We also would maintain rotating carrier groups in the Indian Ocean, Mediterranean and Persian Gulf to always have naval support near the Middle East. We also must include the Iraqi people more in their country's oil trade. A successful people will be a happy people.

Iran's Nuclear endeavors-No, Iran cannot have nuclear capabilities for weapons. If, as they insist(which is total BS, but let's humor them), it is only for nuclear energy then we must step in. They must agree to let us build there nuclear power plants and then maintain a force there to oversee the operations. We can build it on the border of Iraq where we will already have troops. Then they can have nuclear energy, but we have the oversight needed to maintain security. Their leader is an outspoken anti-Semite and total lunatic. He complies with us or he is removed. Why do we feel we have the authority to interfere with other countries? Because he has repeatedly spoken out in favor of our destruction, Israel's (our ally) destruction, and he is supporting insurgents in Iraq. He is every bit the war time enemy that Saddam was. He is a threat to American lives whether you want to acknowledge it or not. Pull your heads out of the sand. It's ridiculous for these countries to hate us like they do. Without us, they would lose a huge percentage of their national revenue and often aid as well.

Abortion-At what point does a fetus turn human? Can you not tell from DNA that it is a human fetus from conception? Is there a difference in the DNA of a 55 year old from that of a 5 day fetus? The arguments in favor of abortion are ridiculous. Free "choice" to kill? It's her body? She should have thought of that before. The fetus isn't viable? A newborn isn't viable on its own. It would quickly die without care. It doesn't look human? How closely does a 60 year old resemble himself at 60 days old? Abortion is reprehensible. I can make only these concessions-rape, incest, or severe health issues. Abortion is morally wrong. No one will ever convince me that it is ok. I have plenty more to say, but here I only need to state my position. I am against abortion.

Capital Punishment-It is insane to me that often the same people that support killing unborn babies, do not support killing convicted murderers. What is wrong with this picture? I support capital punishment. There needs to be restitution when a crime is committed. You cannot give back the life you took, so you need to give your own. From a religious standpoint, I believe this is the only way a murderer has a chance of being forgiven(own opinion). It is definitely a deterrent to more murders. Show me one executed murderer who killed again. Didn't think so. Does it deter other killers from killing? There is no way to know. There is no way to know how many people decided not to kill someone because they were scared of getting caught and getting the death penalty. Obviously, the justice system needs to be overhauled to better ensure that innocent people are not wrongly convicted. And the appeals process needs to be streamlined so that people are not sitting on death row, eating up tax money, for very long. Some say life in prison is punishment enough. Is it? Some slimebag child killer gets to live out his life for another 30 or so years? Even in solitary confinement, he still gets to eat, read, and overall, live. Suppose a glitch gets him paroled. Suppose he escapes. Suppose he does just stay there for years. I prefer not to pay for his food and lodging through my taxes. I can go to right now and there will be a horrifying murder that the perpetrator of deserves the death penalty for.

Gay marriage-Marriage is between a man and a woman. That's that.

Taxes-Property taxes should be lowered. Income tax should be a straight 10-15(or whatever number works) percent no matter what you earn. Everyone should pay the same percentage. Do away with loopholes, breaks, etc. Everyone pays a flat percentage of what they make. Whatever number is determined to be fair, that should be it. This may raise some people's taxes and lower others'. If anything, raise tariffs. I would rather have foreign companies pay higher taxes than myself paying higher taxes. They don't have to be raised that much, but it should be easier for American companies to do business in America, than it is for foreign companies. Don't raise taxes on businesses because they will just pass that cost on to us in the form of higher prices. Don't continue to raise minimum wage because that cost is also passed on to us in higher prices. Hello, think about it. You can, however, tax the crap out of companies that outsource jobs to other countries. They'll pass the cost to us as well, but more jobs for Americans is worth it. One thing I hate is calling about a credit card or something, and I can't understand the person I am talking to, and they can't understand me.

Crime-We need to be tougher on crime. We need to have more police in high crime areas. Every so often you hear about how an area is so bad, even the cops won't go in there. Say what? The cops should fear no area. Sentences should be strict, consistent, and swift.

Free Enterprise-To listen to the media, you would think it is a crime for anyone to be successful. The oil companies are terrible because they have huge profits. Um, isn't that what they are in business for? Isn't any business trying to be profitable? Leave free enterprise alone.

Social Security-I know it needs fixing, but I'm not sure how at this point. I'll think about it and get back to you on this one.

Drilling in ANWAR-Give me a freaking break. You cannot tell me it is more important for caribou to have a nice, romantic place in remotest Alaska to mate than for humans to have fuel to heat their homes, get to work, and all the other things that come from oil. Besides the impact on the caribou would be negligible. They will adapt and with high standards the drilling and plant operations will be clean and safe anyway. There would be little human impact on the precious oversized deer. I don't understand anyone who puts an animal above a human on the benefit scale.

Immigration-This is a tough one. First we need to better control the borders. If this means more cameras, a wall or fence, more patrols, so be it. Illegals have 30 days go to back to their homeland. Before they leave, they can get references that support their claims that they are here to work and support their families. Then they can apply for citizenship (which also needs to be reworked), a work permit that lets them work here, but taxes them or an education permit. They must register so that we know who they are and where they are. Security is the main concern. Those that fail to do so, will be thrown in jail, fined and then deported. Those that fail to comply will also be prohibited from applying for any permit for 3 years minimum. If caught again, they will be thrown in jail for 10 years minimum, fined, and forfeit any future chance at getting a permit. Employers will pay a fine for each illegal they hire. Each alien applying for any permit to be here must supply a background check.

Education-Definitely needs an overhaul. Where do I start? I'll add to this soon.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Variety of thoughts

Huckabee is just another anti-Mormon

I don’t care if he doesn’t support Romney. I don’t care if he doesn’t believe in the LDS faith. I don’t care if he doesn’t like Romney. What I care about is the truth. Let’s be honest here. Huckabee is staying in the race because he is an anti-Mormon and he knows that the only relevancy he has left is that he can take votes away from Romney. Anyone with half a brain can see that Huckabee has no shot at getting the nomination. This is a two-horse race and he isn’t one of them. He has repeatedly dropped the typical, tired jabs at Mormons (“not Christians”, etc) and then backtracked like a gutless Chihuahua nipping at someone’s heals. Now that it is evermore obvious that he is out of the race, he is only sticking around to split the vote away from Romney because of jealousy and his anti-Mormon beliefs. Huckabee is a Baptist. Why isn’t anyone asking him about those other Baptists from the Westboro church that like to shamefully protest at funerals of brave American soldiers? Oh, they’re different Baptists? Well, isn’t it interesting that the LDS church gets lumped in with anything an offshoot radical group does, even though they have long since been severed from any support, ties or fellowship with the LDS church? Yet, no one feels the need to lump all the Baptists together when those lunatics from Westboro do their disgraceful business. If you are looking for a group of people that you can still get away with persecuting with no political correctness police speaking out against you, it’s the Mormons.


Belicheat got what he deserved

I was not only thrilled, but relieved that the Patriots were stopped just shy of finishing the season undefeated. One of the first things I said to my students was that cheaters do not prosper. The Patriots were overwhelming favorites to win and they were denied. It's justice. Obviously, it is a matter of one team outplaying another on a specific day. It is a matter of heart. It is great that those pompous jerks from New England were stopped just 2 1/2 minutes short of their expected destiny. The coach is a classless piece of crap. He left the field early. He was not a gracious loser. His postgame interview was nothing but a bunch of insolent mumblings of a poor loser. He has shown repeatedly that he is not a good winner either. I saw the interview of Brady laughing at the notion that his team would only score 17 points, when a Giants player made that prediction. Yeah, Brady, that was pretty funny. You only scored 14. A Boston paper already commissioned a book about the perfect season. They trademarked the title, "19-0". Talk about premature speculation. Randy Moss was his old pouty self during the game, taking several plays off that weren't in his direction. Then he does his ridiculous touchdown celebration move. I don't think I want to know what it meant, but it was snotty to say the least. I must say, though, that he was one of the more gracious losers in his postgame interview. He's used to it, I guess. Props to Eli Manning. The kid became a man in this game. I never thought much of him, but now am an Eli Manning fan. I hope he does well in his career. Now the Patriots have new accusations of cheating to deal with and I hope the NFL doesn't just sweep it under the rug this time.


How about a little more TV?

Well, I am liking the new show, "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles". The terminator girl is a little strange, but hey she is playing a killing machine. It is actually a pretty entertaining show. "Prison Break" should probably be done at the conclusion of this season. What was already a preposterous show, is getting even more outlandish. But, it is sure entertaining. I'm looking forward to the return of "Life", which I believe is the best new show on TV, by far. "Heroes" was just starting to get good again when it went on hiatus. And the return of "24" should soon be upon us.
"Lost" has returned and is decent so far. It will never regain its first season glory, but is good entertainment. "Survivor" starts yet again this Thursday. It is pitting passed fan "favorites" against new players. It is more like passed players who wanted more exposure or don't have anything else going on in their lives right now rather than "favorites". Might be interesting. I unfortunately watch "Smallville". You get one really good episode for every 3 totally lame episodes. I hope "The Office" and "CSI" return with new episodes soon.
Mainly I am just trying to convince myself that I can make it until August when football starts over. At least Liz is happy. Little does she know that there is basketball and golf.